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Fitzphie Fails (And Other Unsurprising Things)
The First Of Many Sophie slowly walked up to Everglen, wondering how to tell Fitz about her true feelings in a way that would break his fragile little heart, but not upset him to the point of him having one of his temper tantrums and throwing things at her. This was going to be difficult, considering Fitz’s anger management problems. She approached the door step, bracing herself for Fitz trying to lunge out and hug her, but instead a familiar, extremely hot guy with ice blue eyes answered the door. “Keefe!” Sophie cried as she ran out to hug and kiss him. Keefe flashed his trademark smirk as he replied, “Foster, Foster. Always worrying about me.” “Well, I mean, I kind of have to,” Sophie said. “I don’t know what I would do without you. I love you.” “I love you too, Foster,” Keefe admitted. “But next time, don’t spend so much time worrying about me. It makes it too exhausting to worry about you.” Suddenly, a creep with green, spiky hair appeared behind Keefe. “Keefe! Look out!” Sophie screamed. She wasn’t going to let this weirdo hurt him. Keefe jumped a mile and ran out the door faster than Sophie had ever seen him run. “Guys. Seriously, it’s me. What is up with you?” The green-haired freak said. He sounded like… Fitz? But that wasn’t possible. This thing was even more creepy than Fitz normally was. “Fitz?” Sophie asked. “Well, yeah. Obviously,” the thing said. “Are you okay, Sophie? You’re acting weird.” He reached out to hug Sophie. She pushed him away. “Okay, no,” said Sophie. “What did you do to your hair?” “My hair?” Fitz felt the top of his head. “Oh my gosh!” he yelled. “I forgot my wig!” “YOUR WIG?!?!!?!?!” Sophie screamed “Well, yeah. Did you honestly think my hair was that attractive?” Fitz replied. “Well, I always thought that your hair---I mean wig -- always looked like a giant dog turd on your head, but this? This is a whole lot worse.” Sophie said. Keefe had been standing there silent, a shocked and disgusted look on his face. “Are you saying that always had a green, spiky lump growing out of your scalp? How did I not know this? I thought that you at least had your hair going for you. It definitely made your.... Everything… easier to stomach.” “What is that supposed to mean?” Fitz demanded. “Well, I think that we can all agree that you’re not very attractive --” “Like, AT ALL,” Sophie interrupted. “You make me want to barf. Sometime after talking to you I actually get a Washer to wipe the disgusting memories of me associating with you out of my head.” A hurt and broken look flashed across Fitz’s face. “You...you really mean that?” “Heck yeah,” Sophie replied. “Every word” “And I definitely can’t blame her for that. I honestly feel so bad that the first elf she met was you. ‘Cause if she thought that all elves looked like you……...well, she’d probably want to gouge her eyes out the second she arrived at Atlantis.” Keefe replied solemnly. “Fitz! You look like you’re about to cry. It’s so cute that you actually thought I liked you---wait, never mind, it’s disgusting!” Sophie shouted. Fitz buried his face into his arms and bawled his eyes out. Sophie and Keefe glanced at each other, nodded, and then shoved him off a nearby cliff. Fitz screamed as he flailed around. He hollered his last words, “KFC FOR LIFE”, and then he plunged to his death. Sophie looked at Keefe, about to say something, but she forgot as she ran up to embrace him. She laid her head on his shoulder, as Keefe sent calming breezes to her head. She looked at their intertwined fingers as she hugged him harder. When they eventually broke apart, Keefe suddenly started sputtering and gasping for air as he crumpled to the ground. “NO!,” Sophie screamed, tears streaming down her face “No, Keefe, I can’t lose you. You’re the most beautiful and important thing in my life!” All of a sudden, Keefe coughed, and started to get up, but stopped. He got down on one knee and proclaimed the words that changed everything: “Sophie Elizabeth Foster---Will you marry me?” Tears of joy streamed from Sophie’s eyes as she ran up to kiss him. “YES!” She shouted as she kissed him again, “Yes, I will marry you, Keefe. I love you, and I will love you forever!”